Corona wedding guilt
It seems wrong to carry on with blog posts that I had planned to publish, as they discuss things that seem totally irrelevant at this point in time. The world around us is changing hourly, with quarantines, death tolls and so much fake news and scary stats. Discussions around weddings and other social events seem insensitive and unimportant right now.
As you may have guessed, we had to postpone our wedding early last week, which was devastating for us both. We were desperate to hang on to our date and make it work - we even looked at having a secret legal ceremony just to actually be married, but the registrars closed before we got a chance to do this.
What this whole experience has made me think about more than anything else is how we get wrapped in this craziness of weddings, and how little it actually matters in the grand scheme of things. Yes we want to be legally married, but agonising over the colour of our menus, for example, is just so ridiculous. There are bigger things in the world than 1 day. What i’ve felt more than anything is guilt. Guilt for mourning the loss of my wedding, when there are people all over the world are mourning the loss of their loved ones. I feel selfish when I know i’m not. I know that I am allowed to be annoyed at the way things have turned out, and its only natural. After all, your wedding day is the biggest day of most people’s lives. Its very sobering however, to have it all put in perspective so quickly.
We’ve rescheduled our wedding for the end of the year, and it will be wonderful. But right now, my thoughts are far from my wedding. It's with all those people who won't have their grandparents /friends/ family members with them for any future gatherings because they’ve been taken by this horrible disease. It's with all our NHS heroes all over the country who are working so hard to keep us safe and alive. It’s with all those millions of people like me who are losing business, and having to drastically pivot in order to put food on the table for their families. There is not one person who hasn’t been affected by this pandemic.
I don't have to plan my wedding anymore because it’s already been done - it’s a waiting game now. What I now have space to focus on is how I can help to make things better, and staying positive at a time when it’s really hard to. I’m working on a whole new set of skills which will benefit my future clients. I’m working on my business marketing, my website and looking at what I can offer for my clients right now. Sending goodies by post and door to door deliveries are looking like the way forward, and have already proved quite popular. I'm learning how to adapt my business at a trying time for everyone
What have I learnt through having to postpone my own wedding? Don’t sweat the small stuff and focus on what’s really important - health, friends and family.
Stay healthy and stay inside!